The Velvet Rage: Introduction

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When you look around it becomes somewhat undeniable that we are a wounded lot. Somehow, the life we are living isn’t leading us to a better, more fulfilled psychological and emotional place. Instead, we seem to struggle more, suffer more and want more. The gay life isn’t cutting it for most of us.

Tru’dat! Though the only thing I have wanted in life is a companion. That’s it! I can certainly related to the suffering: as a result of addiction, which the author mentions on the previous page and how there is a high clientele that is gay; being HIV+, obese, and apparently ugly.

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Three-Stage Model

Stage 1: Overwhelmed by Shame: “in the closet.”
Stage 2: Compensating for Shame: Gay man’s attempt to neutralize his shame by being more successful, outrageous, fabulous, beautiful, or masculine.
Stage 3: Cultivating Authenticity: building a life based upon one’s own passions and values

I think I am at Stage 3. I have already had some eye-opening moments where I realized how I was “shaped” to be who I am/was. It makes me sick because I have become the opposite of who I really am.

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He goes on to say who wonderful his life is after accepting himself.

Cynicism and skepticism rising.